Wednesday, September 4th
By: Lisa Mader
There was a time in my life when I did not feel The Father’s Love. Honestly, I didn’t feel very much love at all. I grew up with a dad that was full of rage, and anger and hostility.
It left me with a broken heart, full of pain, sorrow, anger, resentment, fear and anxiety. I carried this pain and unforgiveness most of my life.
It was this pain that led me on a path of destruction, looking to anything to get relief. I tried many different things, trying to find happiness, only to be disappointed, over and over again.
Finally came a day when I poured my heart out to God. I told him, “I am done!” I hated my life, and I asked Him into my heart. I walked with Him, day after day, crying out for mercy. And He delivered me! He set me free! The emotional pain began to melt away. It wasn’t easy, but it was the best thing that ever happened to me. I was coming to know and falling in love with God, ABBA!
One of the first things He revealed to me, was the unforgiveness. He pointed straight to my dad, and showed me, the anger, hatred and bitterness in my heart. I needed to forgive. I fought it! I didn’t want to forgive! I told God about the lifetime of hurts and the pain I felt. God showed me that forgiving doesn’t mean that what was done to you is somehow “ok”, that’s not the case. The feelings I felt, the anger, resentments,, the hurt were real, and God was not happy with the person who hurt me this way, yet he showed me how to forgive. He showed me to the gospels and the scriptures about forgiveness. Yet still, I couldn’t do it. Finally, I told God how sorry I was but I couldn’t forgive my dad, and I asked God if He could step in and help me forgive.
God walked me through that door of forgiveness! That opened the door to healing, as God poured his love into my heart, my emotional pain began to melt away. It didn’t happen overnight, but as I continued to walk with God day, after day, my trust and my love for Him grew. It was his love for me that pushed me to forgive anyone and everyone that ever offended me. His love for me brought me to a new understanding. I began to feel a deep desire to serve him.
I am now serving in several ministries, and have come to find an inner joy and peace that I cannot explain. This doesn’t mean my life is perfect! I still struggle, but by staying close to God, I know I am never alone, He is always with me. Are you struggling with your relationship with Father God?
“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find;
knock and the door will be opened to you. (Mathew 7:7)
He is a good, good Father and He wants nothing more than to lavish His love on you!